Daughter Captures Mom’s ‘Heartbreaking’ Decline During Alzheimer’s Battle

A medical diagnosis can change the trajectory of a relationship forever—and one mother-and-daughter duo is documenting it fearlessly.

Genevieve Haldeman’s mother, Phyllis, was diagnosed with a mild cognitive impairment in 2019, which quickly progressed into Alzheimer’s disease. In a devastating reel on Instagram, Haldeman (@phyllisann922) shared her mother’s five-year-long journey with the diagnosis and decline. Haldeman spoke to Newsweek about documenting the experience for a large audience and how her relationship with her mother has evolved.

In the video, Haldeman shared photos and videos of her mother in the years since her diagnosis. Once functioning well, her mother began to struggle with eating, dressing herself and doing her hair and makeup. Haldeman said that she and her mother used to dance together to cope with the losses they were experiencing—but now, her mother can’t dance anymore, nor can she walk. Her most recent videos of her mother are quieter and show her mother appearing less animated.

Haldeman told Newsweek that before her diagnosis, her mother was her biggest supporter and advocate.

“We were always so very close, my mom and I would talk every day,” she said. “She was always there for me when I needed her. Our summers were spent in Ocean City, so we have wonderful memories together as a family.”

When Haldeman was initially told that her mother’s mild cognitive impairment would progress to Alzheimer’s, she was devastated—and her mother was scared.

“I just sat in my car and cried,” she said. “I didn’t want to tell my mom, I was heartbroken for her, for me, for our family. It was so very sad. Her father had Alzheimer’s, so she knew what to expect and she was scared. I was scared for her.”

Despite this, she said she and her mother tried to stay positive and vowed to “get through it” together, no matter what. The roles shifted, and Haldeman became the one to be there for her mother, just like her mother had been there for her.

‘We’ve grown closer’

With a dynamic that flipped suddenly, the duo had to adjust to the losses and changes that come with a life-altering diagnosis. This process, Haldeman said, helped the two come together even more deeply than before.

“To be honest, we’ve grown closer since her diagnosis,” Haldeman said. “We have visited so many new places, we started dancing together, we’ve had fun chats in the car. Really anything and everything to keep her days light and happy.”

Despite the joyful times, though, she misses the everyday things that her mother used to be there for: phone calls about anything and everything, rants about work, requests for one-of-a-kind maternal advice.

“She was my go-to person,” Haldeman said.

The special relationship the two share gave way to the desire for Haldeman to honor her mother and their journey on Instagram.

In September 2022, Haldeman filmed her as they drove past her childhood home to see if she remembered it. She did.

“She remembered her home and remembered her mom, dad, brothers and sister all standing on the porch. It was the sweetest video, so I shared it to Instagram. The response to that video was incredible so I kept going and continued to document her journey with the disease,” Haldeman said. “Her Instagram and TikTok pages are now a place of support and encouragement for others going through this with their loved ones, it’s truly an incredible community of love and kindness.”

Haldeman is in the process of taking the community a step further by setting up a non-profit as a tribute to her mother. The organization would help caregivers who need assistance and resources while caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s or dementia.

In the meantime, time with her mother—who remains with her in body, but “not in mind,” she wrote on Instagram—is her priority.

“This is a devastating disease, and we certainly have tough days,” Haldeman said. “But whatever I can do to keep her happy and calm, that is the goal.”