Man Trying To Force Ex-Wife Into Buying Present for His Affair Baby Slammed

A mom of three has been backed online for refusing to buy a Christmas gift for her ex-husband’s daughter—a child he fathered during an affair.

In her post to the Am I the A******? (AITA) forum, the woman explained that her ex had cheated on her during their marriage, resulting in the birth of the girl, now 4. Since the affair and the couple’s subsequent divorce, the mother has full custody of their three shared children—an 11-year-old and twins aged 9—while the ex sees them every other weekend.

The Reddit user, NovelDot112, noted that she has no relationship with her ex-husband’s daughter, having only seen her five times, and described the lack of connection between her children and their half-sister.

“I don’t feel the need to encourage or promote it. My ex knows this. And he knows our kids don’t care for his daughter. They don’t have the best relationship with him either,” she wrote.

Newsweek contacted NovelDot112 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify details of the case.

According to her post, the ex has full custody of the 4-year-old because the child’s biological mother is uninvolved and does not pay child support. Additionally, the ex-husband has faced financial struggles since losing his job earlier this year, resulting in a reduced child support payment for their shared children.

“The change in job and pay has meant he struggled far more and the kids have noticed the difference in quality of life when they’re with him. He also warned them months ago that they would get a small Christmas gift each from him because he cannot afford more,” the original poster (OP) wrote.

In light of his financial situation, the ex-husband asked the OP to purchase a gift for his daughter or help their children pick out something for their half-sister. She refused, citing her lack of relationship with the child and her belief that it was not her responsibility.

When the ex-husband dropped their shared children off after a weekend visit, he saw the gifts under her tree and got angry with the OP at her refusal to include his daughter in their holiday celebration.

He showed her a dollar store doll—the only gift he could afford—and accused her of being “cruel and selfish” to an innocent child. Asking the Reddit community for advice, she wrote, “AITA for not getting the child something for Christmas when I know my ex can’t afford anything else?”.

The post has received 11,000 upvotes and over 5,000 comments at the time of writing. Users said that the mother is under no obligation to provide for the child of her husband’s affair.

“His daughter is his responsibility, not yours. You owe her nothing, and it’s unfair for him to expect you to step in when he’s the one who created this situation. Focus on your own kids,” one user wrote.

There were also mentions of organizations or charities that could have provided some gifts for his children, such as Toys for Tots and The Salvation Army.

Many Reddit users were infuriated on the OP’s behalf, including one who said the ex-husband’s anger was unjustified. “The biggest plus of being divorced is that you don’t have to subject yourself to his cruelly and selfishness,” they wrote.

The OP was declared not the a******.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.